Hearts die, we die

Today is the 5th day of school for the girls... the girls are still crying in the morning. Now is Clarabelle turns, very stickey to me, wants my accompany wherever she goes, whatever she does. And volunteer to accompany me wherever I go, whatever I do... Yes, even to the loo. And when I stop her from tailgating, she insisted : " Clarabelle accompany you ok." sound like I should be appreciating... -_-

Read today "Today", another case of sudden death... cardio respiratory failure... 3 years ago, my elder brother left us suddenly... cardio respiratory failure too... my family has heart disease records... sometime ago I felt some chest pain... went for the treadmill... everythings was fine... got some reassurance, most probably lack of exercise...

This morning on the bus, I felt the suffoacating in the chest... I thought I almost collapse... quickly take some deep breathe in and out... the first thoughts I have is my girls will continue mouring for being not able to wake me up no matter how hard they cry and yell at me, push me gota to be strong again.

There was a time I was too lazy worn out to entertain the girls so decided to close my eyes and rest. My sudden stillness frighten the girls. Initially they tried to wake me up but I refuse to budge. Their continue calling and shaking my body still no respond, frightened them. They started to cry and shake me more vigorously and they puked! I felt so guilty to had dauted them. At the same time, it's reminded me of the scene, 3 years back, at the emergency when I shaked & yelled at my elder brother, insisted him to wake up... but he didnt...