Letting go...

Below is a beautiful message I had read about holding on to a relationship…

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, 'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don 't fall into the river.'

The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'

'What's the difference?' asked the puzzled father.

'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.'

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.

An inspirating message that reminded me to hold on to my girls hand than asking them to hold mine. However I also believe, to benefit a child or even a relationship, sometimes one must learn to let go too.

As for my girls, I felt that they have reach the appropriate stage. A suitable age to take charge of themself, learning independance. As being able to depend on yourself seem to give better control of the situation you desire.

Tolerance

I think driving on the road for too long make my man a very grouchy person. He is always disturb by other road user who...

"Why these people always step break for nothing... you see! you see! for no reason they step break! "
"Aiyoh...need to step so hard on the break meh... these are the hazardous driver that always cause road accident! "
"Aiyoh... road hogger, F off to your left lane lar..."
"Wah! You see that?!! No signal then filter out like that! "
"Wah! You see! didnt check blind spot, almost band on me! You saw that or not?!! "
"Tailgate me so close for what? "
... ... ...

and last evening after he parked the car, suddenly we were blined by a high beam... machiam we were being hijack by the a group of commandor like tat :p

man: " Aiyoh... dont know why some driver still on the high beam in the carpark... "

Haize... (enough of his grouchy, can be so stressful to me)
me: " Dear... not all people is as considerate driver as you... "
man: " These are the oblivious driver! "
me: " Yes, some people are not aware of this detail... Sometime certain thing we are aware, some people may not aware but there are other thing, people aware of but we dont too. So we must learn to tolerate... "

... ... ...

suddenly the man say something nice,
" I must say you have to tolerate me most... "

me: " Haha 无心插柳，柳成花! "
man: " Ha?! What?! 流星花园?!!"

-_-"

Happy Father Day! Though...

This was belated, cos I was angry wif the daddy then...

The art & craft were from the girls and the pink checked shirt was from mommy, yes me, 好心没好报!

Here explain why I have gradually learn to put him my last priority, though I know I shouldnt...

Two weeks ago sunday was Father's day. On that week wednesday, after work, I rushed to shop for the guys' present since everytime he pick me up was @ 7.30pm, so I tot want to optimise this waiting 1+hr to shop and he can picked me up at my shopping place instead.

But even having in mind what to get... shirt or belt for my brother's birthday (his bday nxt day), wallet for my dad and shirt for him & his dad but 1+hr to shop for 4 gifts was still such a challenge! I had made him waited 40mins for me and he had to detour around the building many times as the security dont allowed waiting.

I know, Im sorry, I can understand the stress level he was going thru then, the children in the car needed to answer nature call, the security was bugging and I was still shopping... but I just cannot control feeling hurted, the moment I hopped into his car, his machine gun *tatatatatatata*

I told him :" Im sorry... " and kept quite throughout the journey... and didnt talk to him for a few days unless essential... Not that Im angry with him but really, I had nothing to say to him... I quietly stuffed his gift in a hidden corner... though I still bought a nice durian cake on that sunday to cut but Im afraid this gift have to rest in the corner for awhile more... at least till my heart is heal or someday I "ki siao" (suddenly happy mood) then pass it to him... :)

Chicken conscience?

This morning was another usual rushing morning.
Rush and rush and rush...

Just when I stuffed my lost & found handcream into my bag, I saw this. Yes the hubby had stuffed a bot of chicken essence in my bag.

... ... ... *soul-searching*

Ok! I admit that did make me grin a bit... but still, I closed my bag. Got to rush... hurry up chickenchildren!

Last night, hubby & I almost start another round of war...
What happened was, after dinner at my mum place, I had to rush to the supermart to get some grocery before it closed at 10pm while he brought the girls home. When Im done and home around 10pm, Im glad that he had bathed the girls and were reading book together, albeit his face dono why was blacken. Then as usual he went down to his car to pick up the girls' school bag and other stuff like the girls' medicine.

And I resumed my routine... mixed milk, removed the clean laundry from the machine, stuffed more dirty laundry to wash. When I was hoping bath time I can relax, before I can enjoy the tranquility, Abella slide-opened my bath door so hard and complained : "Mommy... Clarabelle say she dont love me..."

While trying to rinse off the foam and persuading abe not to take clara's words so hard and clara to apologise... too late, they just dont budge and a "girl war" was ignited!-_-

"You naughty! NO! You naughty!" shouted both.

open, closed! open, closed! ... ... ... -_-
one wanted my bath room door to be opened and the other wanted it to be closed!

"I called daddy" and clara pretended was calling daddy and self-talked, "Hello, daddy, Im clarabelle. Abella is naughty! *yakky yakky* ok bye bye!" then yelled : "Daddy is coming back!"

"No! " and abe called daddy too and *yakky yakky* ok bye bye! and yelled : "No! Daddy is coming back!" and both actually started to giggle and instantly they made peace!


However... on the other side, another pressure was gradually building up...

tick tock... tick tock... tick tock...

Wow!!! Was 11pm+ and the daddy was not back from carpark yet. Clara was very tire and K.O. the very next moment.

Buzzed the daddy : "Are u coming up soon? Clara had slept, Abe soon, waiting for their medcine leh..."

"okie okie.. coming up now " and even asked abella to wait for him. To keep herself awake, abe requested me to read book with her till...

" Mommy... closed the book... "
" Why? Are u tire already? You want to sleep? "
" Yes... Z Z Z z z z ..."

tick tock... tick tock... tick tock...



haize... the hse so messy...the cloth are piling up... hv to iron tml working cloth... pack their school bag... sterilised the bottle...

tick tock... tick tock... tick tock...

As the clock clicked, my anger clicked too!

Buzzed the hubby again : " Are you having some urgent matters below... "
"Im in the lift, coming up now!"

So when the door opened...
me: " Are you having some urgent matters below huh?"
man: "Hmm... sort of lah..."
me: " So what is the urgent things that had make u to compromis the girls medicine time and breaking yor promise wif Abe and now that you had to disturn their sleep inorder tgive them medicine? "
man: " I happen to met A and I recall an work issue, need his assistant, so we talk awhile..."

I really cannot view his point of urgent... Agrrh!
me: " But you have his contact right? You can call him tml to talk abt it... furthermore is there any urgent issue to follow up immediately after the discussion? So tml still can discuss right? But instead you girls are waiting for your medicine and now they have slept!"
man :" Then why are you talking so much now? Should be feeding them medicine instead! "

Agrrh! This man never feel apologetic!
me: " Since they had slept, what's the diff to feed them later?!! But I definately want to clarify this with you, you no sense of piority! "

Instead of feeling apology, the man do the ostrich, that is avoiding my question and ignored me and that annoyed me most!

He wanted to walk away but I blocked him... and we struggle for sometime till he finally broke into laugh... " Im sorry but your way of blocking me... very funny... woahahaha... "
@:(

me: " Why you always like that?! No sense of piority... If is really important, you can bring up the medicine first then you can go, talk as long as u like... "
man : " em... dont quite like it..."
me: "you always claimed sorry to have disturb the girls when everytime they waited your medicine till sleep.... but you never make effort to prevent it... I feel that you are not sincere at all... you always say but never do... that is worst than dont say... "

The man keep quite again... Haize forget it... nothing seem can knock into his head...
man : " sorry lah... "
me : " sorry means dont do it again..."
man : " sorry means dont do it again... "

haize... this is the dono how many dont do it again for him already...

人生苦短, why am I stuck with this man, worsen my misery :( ...

Girls' talk

This morning in the car.

Clara : "Abella why just now u didnt want to talk to me??? You dont like me huh?"
Abe softly : " no... because I dont want to go to school... " still looking very sad.
Clara : "Oh... then u like me?"
Abe mummble : " yes... "
Satisfied Clara : " OK! "

What happened was, Abella was not in the mood to go to school today. So when we woke her up for school, she was very reluctant and ignoring us. Not only that, she was no cooperative and purposly taking her time to finish her water then walked very slowly to the kitchen sink to put the cup and slowly out of the kitchen dispite we were all ready to set off, but waiting for her... -_- (the daddy almost explode but luckily didnt :p)

Not looking at Abella's attitute problem, I find this little conversation loving as they actually acknowlege each other feeling :)

Unlike us...
Cant remember what the arguement about but the man was smirking away after hearing my reply...
me : " Your laugh irk ME! "
the man still smirking : " Your remark irk ME TOO! "
me : " Disgusting man like YOU deserved disgusting treatment! "
the man continue to irk me : " so are You! Ha! We are so compatible! "

E-r-r-h !!!

me : " Cant you talk nicely to me? "
man : " You dont talk nicely to me either! "
me : " Fine! Then we must as well dont talk! "
man : " Yes! That's the Best !"

E-R-R-H !!!

一定是上辈子欠他的... @: (

Post V-day fantasy

My man thinks that red rose are nice, very symbolic love. So most of the time when he get me roses, it will be red, a stalk or a bouquet.

But he wont know I love white... white roses... last time white, because of it's pure & innocent, now white because of the state of my mind...

I know many will jump at me, for not appreciative... expecting too much... pessimistic... but this is just the state of my mind now...

Nevertheless I'll still like the red roses or whatever flowers he gave me. I am still very thankful, happy for all that he can do for me... and yes, I shall bestow him with kudos.

But he dont visit my site... no worries as the public has bestow him more glory...

My fil saw that bouquet of roses yesterday...
all the ladies in my office gave me their envious eyes...
set some guys in my office thinking, I am such a blessful woman, the hubby is so lovely...
some start soul searching, should I get my wifey one tonight?
some are cynic, must be doing some guilt...

p/s: can somebody tell me how to remove the frame on the pix I have posted, huh?

Infidelity demarcation

How do you define infidelity? or at what stage you'll consider your spouse action is infidelity and unacceptable?

I was a strict follower. I never believe in there is pure friendship between opposite sex, not to mention maintaining one after married. Likewise, I am expecting my spouse to think the same.

However, some people may think otherwise. However again, if between the couple, they have established a mutual trust and proper communication, I think that is fine.

Saying that, my hubby used to receive sms from female friends. And I know of a particular slut lady has been frequently sending sms to him also. Although those are some mass circulation sms, but when the contents include "missing you", " thinking of you", "take care" etc... Do you still consider that normal sms? and the time can be as early as 7am in the morning and as late as 12pm at night. Do you still consider that normal sms?

Definately I not magnanimous, so I confronted the hubby. And guess what the hubby say?
"c'mon lah, dont make me ma lu, she sms to everybody, there isnt any agenda, you want me to go and tell her off not to include me in her list? People will think that you are petty!"

... ... ... He called me petty?!!! My heart was so hurt then...

Years passed, thought now I dont see those sms already...

But I am still sceptical as
- his monthly phone bill reflected his outgoing sms= 900 nos... and the no. of times he sms me is probably less than 10 in a month. So where are those 890 sms sent to?
- and then the less than 10 sms I received from hubby, sometimes also have those loving circulation sms... he may thought that I will find those sweet but I was thinking where on earth he received such sms from? Definately not a guy friend. He is damn careless enough! -_-

Anyway, I find it no point to persue the matter... we will ended up quarrel and he will accuse me 没事找事吵. Though refuse to comply but I just have to widen my range of acceptance.

The one night the hubby was sending me to attend a friend's wedding function. On the way, hubby's phone rang, caller ID reflected an unfamiliar number. Hubby connected the line handfree and answered in a stern voice...
hubby: " HELLO !"
a slut lady voice: " So fierce for what?!"
hubby: " Who's that?"

silent...

the voice: " B squared... " (some sort of passwords? I raised my brow.)
hubby: " Huh?!! Who? "

silent...
the voice : " xxx lah..."
hubby: " Yah! What's Up? "

silent...

the voice: " You on the road isit? "

silent...

silent...

then hang up.

the hubby: " Who's that hah?"
me: " slut xxx lah. "
the hubby: " She called up for what lah?"

Me?

Most probably as years passed, my accumlated rancour has somehow turn still. Sometimes I was thinking why do I always have to be so concern will he turn unfaithful to me while I think he never worried about me will. So what if he really has an extra affair ? I will pitty the slut lady then... most probably a man like this wont remained faithful to her either. If she wants such man, she can has it.

For a moment I thought I was so 潇洒... then I realise my heart was so sour and the eyes rim were watery...

Anyway... yes, simply from that I dont jump conclusion but definately I will guard up. I'll make sure the 狗男女 die very UGLY!!!

Eh... but how ah? How to make them die ugly hah? Anyone? Please help contribute idea.

Kekeke... ; )

What's your reaction?

What happen is...

Last Friday, Clarabelle was down with a high fever. I applied urgent pm leave thought there shdnt be any big deal furthermore mum & maid were around but luckily I did. When I reached home, poor clarabelle was very cranky. She must be very miserable running a fever at 40.2 deg c! I quickly shot the "bullet" into her anus and effectively the temp went down, albeit gradually.

I am glad I did not procastinate to take the pm leave. Though she may be just "yang or" but I am most willingly to pacify her. I am glad I was at her side when she needed me most though me, myself was down too, down with the stupid pre-menses pain, my head was like going to split into half! Whenever I get up from sitting position or the slighest movement of my head is so painful!

And that night after work, the daddy still had a wedding function to attend. I am already mentally prepared that I will have to stretch myself abit longer till 12am when the daddy will be home. Though clara wasnt any cranky and was in deep asleep already but is just me, a tire soul waiting for the partner to be home to soothe down my day. But when the clock struck 12.00am and still no sign of the partner...

Sense my blood bar going up... buzz the man and when connected was a noisy background and I heard called you again...
awhile later, that man called and I asked :" Where are you? Dinner haven end? "
that man : " Oh! Ended but I join KA & friends who are at the near by pub! "
me internally exploded :" So, what time you're coming home? "
that man :" Soon..."
me : " What time is your soon? "
that man : " I still have half mug to fin..." then talking to background oh the haze is making me puke...
me: " Ooi ! are you ok or not! You sound drank already!" then, I am ok, i know my limit... " You might as well sleep there! " Fed up! Slam the phone!

Me fed up because,
1stly, the girl is sick, he know I must have a busy day and sure had worn out but still didnt come home early.
2ndly, he overdosed drinking, thought I shd doubth him but I never like him always stretch his limit and always taking the risk! I think the fundamental for a responsible parent is must always take care of themself so that they are able to take care of their children and they will never take such risk!
3rdly...ok, I think down to the root is, I am unhappy becos he's not apologetic.

Finally here is the question...
What's your reaction when that is your partner? What will you do when your partner comes home?

Ok, I must point out that, the daddy brought Clara to see doctor and he did drop home to change his attire cos his friend commented his black attire dont suit the happy occassion see how's everything and bought me a nice fruit juice...

Me? I used to blow up, no matter how late the night is but now... as long as he is safe home, furthermore this is an old issue. I have spoken to him many times but he's just dont budge. Very dishearted to talk to rotten log.

But instead, I insisted him to gime a massage. The minimum to soothe my anger. Yes, he did, but after a few knead, the pressure began to lessen and very soon, die!

me :" See!Compromised massage!"
sub-sober log :" My head is spinning..."
me :" I didnt cause your head spinning! "

and guess what the log comment ??! He asked: " Why dont u massage me?!"
me fuming : " Ok! " gave him a knead on both his temple and " Done! "

Me, sour?

I like mee pok with alot vinegar, shark fin soup with alot vinegar, 扳面 with alot of vinegar, 锅贴 soaked in the vinegar and my mum's Pig trotter vinegar is the best! But does too much vinegar cause me a jealousy person?

I dont deny lately me & the hubby are more harmony and happy with each other, though still have dispute but are just spices...

Last night we went JB for dinner after one of this hubby's friend keep advocating how good this shop 排骨王 was and we should go in to try. So the dinner included the friend and I was thinking food fiesta should be more people the merrier so I asked another couple of our friend and my mum along, mum always deserved this.

Indeed the food was yummy and cheap!$156 ringgit for 6 adult dinning. Worth the waiting too...we were caught in the jamed at the causeway. The 排骨王 was indeed good, we cant help but ordered another plate. We also had 1 big live seabass steamed in teochew style, steam live frogleg with ginger, braised bat meat (the only dish I dont like) and 月光 hor fun (nice name huh?). The stirred fried veggie also very nice , enough "fire power".

So much of yummy food but still cant sweeten my heart any as quietly I am having "vinegar"! The friend of hubby stays at our precinct so he tag along our car. Thoughtout the journey, hubby was busy chatting with him. There was nothing wrong but I was jealous for when i seat beside him, he can never chat so heartfully with me. His response to me is like answering question then fullstop. Sometime i will think am i speaking so soft that he cant hear or what? I hate talking to the log! During the dinner and journey home, I also feel that he is entertaining him only... my jealousy level shot up as when we had reached the home carpark, the hubby still asked me to go up myself first as they would like to have a puff !

Fine! When I reached home, opened the door and saw my sweet girls asleep, so cute... heehee tempted me to disturbed them a while

After Im done washing up, was 12am already! The hubby still not home yet, cant bear to part, huh??!

me msg him : What time is it?

hubby reply: Tigeress time. Hana come up in 5 mins.

me reply: Tigeress time still 5min?! Must lioness time then 5 sec?!

hubby reply: Im not afraid! Im a hunter!

me:

Though after a while the hubby was home and my anger had subsided, but I just cannot stop thinking is my hubby anything wrong? He will say thing like he missed me very much, so nice to see me after a hard day work... but actual fact every day he dont rush home straignt after work... he will buzz his friend when reached carpark and chat and puff then willing to come home

He has his explaination too. He proclaim that he will like to vent himself after an lousy day at work, so that when he see me, he can greet me with a happier face. But I feel that this is not very healthy, after he had purged everything to his friends, what he left for me is an switched off mind and empty shell, enough of talking and attention, just tire and want to sleep only z z z z z

Where is our sharing time then ?

Moving on... To a Better Person

I had a quarrel with the hubby this morning, again... ... ... why again? I think we just quarrelled not long ago.

am I going through an mid-life crisis? I really dont like this me. One minute I am feeling secure and then next, insecure. I really cannot figure out why and I really hate going through the same emotions and questions over and over again!

But one changes I see in myself is, I get over faster this time. Usually I will brood over for whole day, sometimes over the weekend. Im happy to see me improving, though internally i still struggling.

I gonna pen down my feeling here and free myself, for I want to move on, moving on to a better person

This morning the hubby wore a new shirt which I have not seen before...

me: When you have this shirt?

hubby: It has been hanging on the rack for weeks, you didnt see meh?

me: No, but where does this shirt come from?

Hubby thought can avoid my question by diverting to ask me does he look nice on the shirt but I repeated my question again...
hubby: I went shopping with KA (his buddy and is the one I hated most ! ) during lunch.

Actually this " New shirt " shdnt triggle any crisis just that... I felt so jealous! He proclaim that he is so busy at work that now I seldom receive his calls or msg during office hrs... I dont call him also as he seldom pick up and if he does is always..."Im in the meeting" " Im in the midst of discussion" "Im driving" and hang up... he seldom initiate to fetch me for lunch... but I know he will drive to pick up frens for lunch... last time the excuse was my ofc too far... now though my ofc is nearer to his, I dont deny we ever lunch together but once only for one whole year??! I know there will be frens come telling me their hubby dont bother at all... I shd feel fortunate but still...

He proclaim he is so busy but he can affort time with frens for coffee... puffing... but no time to say hi to me

I was angry when he, instead of acknowledge my feeling, reprimand me saying he has the right to lunch with anybody! (In my heart I was thinking, yes lunch with all your frens and nver me and I wont hope for it either!) Anger must have gotta me mad, I start to pick up silly things like reprimand him for not telling me when he went shopping why I am not aware he bought new clothings... stupid! make myself silly again and giving him chance to accuse my character again!

I do have some content of suspicion the shirt is from maybe some female "admirer" nevertheless I shdnt mistrust him or making wild guess but...

He say I hv no trust in him again...

I used to be an sweety innocent gf who will trust the bf 100% but not today where I have seen so many cases of unfaithful "good" man caught me surprise...

Yah, why I hate that buddy of my hubby so much, I dono now but he used to be one of those type and have a weird mentality of relationship. He is the kind who can have many relationships at a time without feeling guilt. He is the one who asked my hubby to go clubbing and let the pregnant me stay alone at home! He is the one who dont wear the wedding ring and say ring shd wear in the heart, YOUR FOOT! Now he is lucky enough to find a good decent wife who I sincerely think that he dont deserved but shd be surrounded by women whom ultimately will ditched him and hurt him! I know Im childish saying this but... I hate him more for causing me say such silly things! I hope I will hate him lesser as afterall he is nobody to me.

... ... see whole day gone and not a sound from the hubby

Mother's Day Thoughts

Though Mother's Day has passed... but I have some thoughts... to pen down...

Prior that, I did contemplate to write something and wishing for all the mommies Happy Mother's Day as mother really deserved this day but, work caught me up... and didnt bother also after the weekend, since Mother's day is still not very memorable for me as my two girls are still "naive" about it.

Though this is my 2nd mother's day, still I havent felt this is my day, like my birthday or Valentine's Day. However my mother was quite enthusiastic. I am not bother whether I will receive flowers but when I gave her three stalks of carnation, she asked : “ 那你呢？”, I replied : “ 我不用啦！” she then asked : “ 你有礼物吗？” I think hard and Yes, I do have...

On that saturday my hubby came telling me : " Tomorrow is Mother's Day, I haven get you pressie, I thought of giving you "angbao" but since you are buying the WMF cooking set, I'll pay for it. Hee... or you want "angbao"? $10 dollar? "

Of course I am taking the cooking set! Now sale... 7-pc for $127... and WMF is a good brand. Im gona overhaul those Teflon cooking set at home, after hearing so much of Teflon adverse effect on health. Stainless steel is still better... Anyway this is an surprise, I am not expecting pressie from the hubby.

When we were choosing carnation for our mother, my hubby asked : " You want one for yourself too? " and I answered : " NO ! I dont like carnation."
Hubby: " Oh, there are some rosy overthere but not very fresh."
I was thinking it will be nice that he can just pick one and present to me later : " Dear, this is for you..." but he didnt...

I am not expecting big or expensive, just a little thought, some sincere... am I too high expectation ??? Im not really excited about the surprise... after all this "years"... I felt that everything is so practical... so unromatic... I ever asked the hubby, can he make some effort like what he did during courtship, his answer : " Lazy lah "

A Wakening Fall

I had a big fall last sunday mid-night...

1.30am the hubby finally came back from his car wash, thought that I had slept, he was very careful not to create much noise. For so long, he never realise his wife can only sound asleep when the husband is safe back home. Anyway after patting the girls to sleep, I dosed off while watching my girls' video clips... Abella had a stuffy nose so I thought of getting her the vick to apply. When I stepped down the bed, the next moment, I slipped with both elbows & knees fell hard on the floor. I was in pain but wont dare to groan afraid might alert the children. It was the vcam that slipped off my hand fell, alerted the hubby in the bath room. He came out asking me what happened and wanted to lift me up. I stopped him as afraid I might had a fracture. He was laughing away how could I have fall and wont stop even I warned him not to tease his pathetic wife... I decided to ignore him.

I am alright now, just some bruises on the elbows and knees. I think at that time why I felt so miserably pain, most probably becos the pain is from my heart, the most prone to injury organ in human body. It has been aching...

Sometime ago we had been quarrelling often about him spending lesser time with me. More mad when after I had voiced it out and his replied was " You are too possesive! Even if I spend 1 day 24 hrs with you, you will never satisfied!! " and more lesser time with us (me & children). I was very depressed then... itch to dissolve the marriage. Sensibly I did not but I divert my focus for him all to my children, parents, sibling, friends and work, anything and nothing for him.

However even with the mind setting, I am still suffering from depression. I had a very hard time finding back my identity... afterall I am not a aggressive woman... I am just a little woman who constantly wish to be loved, needed and being put at the center of a man's heart... having too much accumulated rancor, I begin to hate my husband... I hate him for breaking his promised... my promising happiness... I became very grudge as keep dwelling over the many why ? ? ? and none was make clear....

Today those many pieces of my puzzle start to fall into place, I begin to catch glimpses of what marriage and infact what life is about : ]

6th ROM Anniversary

Today is our ROM 6th Anniversary! This is the present I bought for my hubby. I am not a carebear manic but decided to get it because of the symbolic. I think it's a very meaningful gift. Now the new version have even more symbol and more fancy design. So many but I cant only remember this few. Good luck, Good nite, Friendship... I will be happy to receive one too. Who want to buy me a Good Memory bear ? :p Carebear CARE !!!